LOVE IN THE SHADOW By Idris Ehi

 

It was getting late that evening, the ray of the sunshine has dawn on us in the classroom; we released our gaze on each other for while and suddenly the school security shouted from behind and interferes in our body language. She shakes her head to the left to the right and tap me softly by the shoulder and whispered to my ear, "You're a the mirror that review my personality and I can't do without you". Um..., I...I..! What? I asked shaking on my seat as though I caught sight of a ghost, my spirit ran marathon with a twinkle of an eye. It reechoed in my head like hammer on the nail so loudly that I could not control myself, I blowed air in hands and place it in my ears to reconfirm what I heard; she smiled at me and confused me the more.

I hid my head in my arms without saying anything neither look at her again nor showing signs of interest. I moved backwoods to give her allowance and focused my gaze on my calendar on the wall as though I wanted to achieve something, and finally sat back without a comment.

She looked away and stood up aggressively as though I stepped on her toe, I spoke calmly, " My dear, don't hurt me, you're my lifeline please, don't leave me, am short of words". 

She cut a flower and plant it on my arm that is when I saw love across her eye like the rainbows of difference colours. I must confess, she got me! All I wanted is her and no another person. Blood in my vein, like a frosty moment, her love radiate my emotions and drove me in the ocean of love.

A lady I barley know, how could I allow her dominant my heart and hallucinate me?! Uhu..., little Wonder, she even have a pet names for me and enjoy my company. Hmm..., I have been struggling in my subconscious man to air out something I know too well will clear the air and mount my fate but self doubt couldn't allow me...! Just can't die in silent no! I must be courageous enough to define our coming together. Yes! I strap my bad to my back and stood up and make a move toward the door to confirm no one is coming from any direction. Looking straight into her eyes but just could not withstand the tension, I stumbled upon my feet and faints several times in my spirit man; I put my hands in my pocket pretending to be alright...

Natty, she tap and call. Looked up high as though I want to achieve something from. The sky. Natty, it's Vicky should be in case you care to know my name. She dragged me to my seat and I inspired myself like the lightening on a mission, I smiled, Vicky, wow..., what a beautiful name! I wanted us to talk but is late already, I will see you tomorrow. I adjust my collar to show my boldness and jump through the window.

It was my secondary school days, i had a lot of friends both males and females who admired me for whatever reasons, which I'm yet to discover, some of them told me what the reasons was then in school, some had to wait till after secondary school to tell me how they admired me and all of that ... My school days was wonderful and sweet just for that.

 Vicky was one amongst many of those open and secret admirers, I remember on few occasions when she bought me snacks and drinks at the canteen during break hours; and keep me company whenever my friends left me.

Vicky was an intelligent/outspoken and talented young lady with undiluted dreams that worth a while. These make me liked her so much and wishing hanging around her. She was composed and well mannered in her doings, these things endeared me to her ... She had beautiful set of transparent teeth, her open teeth is something else, these set of beautifully arranged dentition was always noticed whenever she smiled.

Her long curve hair and her white body was what people at the neighborhood used to described her, she worked like a pregnant tortoise so carefully as though the ground is glass. Her smile was like a season rain that lightened the earth and change the atmosphere, funny enough, she talk less and play a lot and take her words seriously.

Vicky's dream was to read law, and become one of best lawyers in the nation; believe me if i tell you she was equal to the high intellectual requirements of her dream course,  then it's not a lie. Worst event of the scene was that, After our WAEC, we lost contacts...

The ray of the sun shone through the pavement of my window face the northern side and woke me up from my long night unendless dream...looking at my wall clock, I discovered I was ten minutes late for work, I rushed to my toothpaste pick it and ran into the bathroom and took my bath. I dressed up in a hurry and left for the office without office key...

This evening at the market, I heard someone calling me beautifully "Natty, Natty", I turned abruptly to see Vicky beckoning on me and pull for a hug and...I was surprise and excited to see her, she was more naturally now and a bit plumpy...she exclaim "see Fortune o" my friend who doesn't remember me again " she was about going about with the ritual of explaining who she is but I stopped her and told her I remembered her vividly.

 .... After the whole peasantries, talked about a lot of things and she asked what I was studying in school, I told her I'm studying psychology", she was like "I thought you've always wanted reading microbiology " I answered her "omo! Things changed and I had to adapt to the changes o" she laughed at me and replied that she too had to adapt to changes, she couldn't further her education, she went ahead to tell me she was married and has a kid, she also owned a stall in the market where she sells things... I was sad for Vicky, such a brain box wallowing in circumstances, she could do less or nothing about ...

While we talked on, she was beaming with smiles, though looking older than her age, she was full of life. Her situation submerged her and change beautiful to something unimaginable from her hair to her body, wrinkled face like someone of sixty old.

While she was happy to have met me again, I left her feeling sad that her dreams of becoming a graduate was becoming a reality of nightmare of a struggling young mother and our relationship.

Was life cruel or maybe "life no just balance" like we often say? I stood with my face in my arms for nature have disappointed me and chance of loving her ignorantly in another man's arms without my knowledge hoping my dream of loving her to the end. This was the worst thing that have even happened to me, the sadden moment I even experience, a painful event of life...someone I love is loving another man, someone I am dying for is gone from me...life is not balance at all.

I know of many others like Vicky who couldn't further their education and all I can say is that may they find success in whatever path fate has offered them.(AMEN) 

It is indeed a love in the shadow, an abortive dream, unrealistic mistake of my life. Tears streaming down my face like the morning rain uncontrollably, a hope lost in the cloud.

I love you even in another man's arms... I never knew I was missing it from the beginning till this moment when time revealed the reality of the unpredictable life.

Just can't say "Bye..." It hurt me to my bone and my brain remember nothing than your name and every moment with you....Bye....! Bye.....!! Bye.....!!! 

Natty love