It was an amazing time at the FUN, FAMILY AND FRIENDS SUNDAY.
We really enjoyed ourselves in the presence of our father.
All glory to God.
We also had an amazing time of teaching on the subject: AVOIDING RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE PITFALLS.
I believe this Excerpt will be a blessing to you.
AVOIDING RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE PITFALLS by pst Akinola Akinyemi.
Human nature is all about relationships.
- Relationship with God
- Relationship with oneself
- Relationship with others.
Finding good relationships , keeping them together and keeping each other happy are the things that keep us well.
Our inability to manage relationships well results into stress and unhappiness and this in turn affect our minds as well as our bodies.
A ruined relationship can ruin your outlook on life itself.
Pitfalls can cause relationships and marriages to sink.
This pitfalls are basic errors we all tend to make in our relationships.
These errors can cause us unnecessary unhappiness and even jeopardize the relationship we’re in.
But the good news is this pitfalls can be mastered and overcome.
Here are a few basic relationship pitfalls and how to avoid them:
= PITFALL NUMBER ONE: THINKING AND ACTING MARRIAGE DETERMINES YOUR WORTH AND WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY.
Marriage is good but it doesn’t determine your worth, your happiness and your joy.
Your worth is rooted not in your marital status, but in your creational status.
There is nothing wrong in being single.
Singleness might be a waiting season, but it doesn’t need to be a wasted season.
As a single, You will attract who you are, not what you want,
so instead of making a list of what you want in a spouse, make a list of who you need to be a spouse.
Don’t focus on finding the right person; focus on being the right person.
= PITFALL NUMBER TWO: THINKING AND ACTING SEX CAN BE USE AS FOUNDATION FOR LOVE AND LASTING RELATIONSHIP.
Sex cannot be used as a foundation for love.
Sex before marriage is not a yardstick to measure your compatibility or ability to bring forth children. - Proverbs 5:15-23
From God’s perspective of Sex, There is nothing like test before use in marriage but there is full warranty if you will wait.
When sex is done outside God’s order of the marriage union, it doesn’t give God’s intended fulfillment but momentary pleasure, which has a negative effect on the marriage in the future (Proverbs 5:15-23).
Sex (even after marriage) does not give that everlasting fulfillment in life; it gives a temporary experience, (although this temporary experience goes a long way to impact your marriage.)
The real source of fulfillment in life is found in our relationship and peace with God.
= PITFALL NUMBER THREE: THINKING AND ACTING MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT LOVE.
Marriage is not just about love, MONEY and other things are equally important.
People marry for love, but they are going to live together spending Money and doing other things together.
Singles, there is need for financial maturity before getting married.
I discovered that Romance( both in relationship and marriage) will be easy when there is money.
= PITFALL NUMBER FOUR: THINKING AND ACTING IN MARRIAGE MAN SHOULDN’T SAY SORRY.
MEN DON’T CRY.
For peace to reign in your home. Be quick to apologize and quick to forgive.
= PITFALL NUMBER FIVE: THINKING AND ACTING MARRIAGE IS EASY.
A very important truth is that, Marriage could be very demanding and challenging :
Two different people coming to live as one could be hard amidst other things.
= PITFALL NUMBER SIX: THINKING AND ACTING IN MARRIAGE IT GET TO A POINT YOUR SPOUSE BECOMES YOUR ENEMY.
There will always be battle but your spouse is not your enemy.
Ephesians 6:12 tells us that our battle is not against flesh and blood.
In marriage there will be time you look at your spouse, asking God, “What did you do in bringing us together?”
You spouse isn’t your enemy, Your spouse is a gift from God to you.
= PITFALL NUMBER SEVEN : THINKING AND ACTING IN MARRIAGE, THE MORE YOU GET COMFORTABLE, THE LESS YOU NEED PRAYER ANYMORE.
The couple that prays together, stays together.
This one thing the devil fights.
Praying with your spouse will change the course of your marriage and legacy.
= PITFALL NUMBER EIGHT: THINKING AND ACTING IN MARRIAGE, AS LONG AS YOU’VE COLLECTED YOUR CERTIFICATE, YOU DON’T NEED LECTURES AGAIN.
CONTINUOUS LEARNING IS A VITAL KEY TO THE SUCCESS OF ANY MARRIAGE.
Regardless of your years of marriage: 60, 30.... or even 2 years; if you are green, You will be growing but if you aren’t, you begin to rot.
To remain relevant, both of you must keep learning.
To grow together in love, both of you must be teachable.
One of the greatest threats in any marriage is losing a teachable heart.
A teachable heart is a spiritually-receptive heart. Without it, You can’t have a healthy marriage.
Continuous learning will enable you not to Loving yourself.
Try as much as possible to continue what ever you did to woo your self when courting.
Once couple stop dating, marriage starts dying gradually.
It starts with hurts, then offenses, arguments, speaking cutting words to each other, then full blown fight and endless bickering.
Marriage involves two imperfect People and you will need to deliberately create time to connect despite many things that will try to catch your attention.
= PITFALL NUMBER NINE: THINKING AND ACTING WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE TOGETHER BECAUSE WE ARE DIFFERENT.
Difference isn’t wrong; in-fact that’s what attracts us to each other in the first place .
Opposite attracts before marriage but repels after marriage.
Here’s the key—your spouse’s differences are new capacities that God has brought to your life to complete you, don’t try to change one another.
And these differences cut across every areas:
For instance, women spell romance differently from men.
Women spell romance: r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p. But men spells it: s-e-x.
= PITFALL NUMBER TEN: THINKING AND ACTING TO SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE YOU MUST NOT PRAISE YOUR SPOUSE TOO MUCH, BUT RATHER KEEP THREATENING HIM OR HER.
To succeed in marriage, don’t think and use the d-word in your marriage.
Never threaten divorce in your marriage. Instead, think and use the c-word—commitment/ covenant.
This results in taking the other person for granted.
When we take our partner for granted, they don’t feel love and care but intimidation.
When we take the other person for granted, the relationship stagnates or deteriorates.
When we value ourselves the Relationship blossoms like a garden in the spring.
These are a few relationship pitfalls that we need to avoid if we want to have happy, healthy relationships.
You will succeed!
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