No doubt the Married audience had a great moment with Elder Benjamin Ibisu a man of amazing testimonies in a Marriage of 33 years and career Success as a Financial Consultant.
Except of teaching;
(COUPLES AND THEIR FINANCES)
INTODUCTION:
When God made Adam and Eve and joined them together in holy matrimony, charging then to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, He instituted the first human family and home. (Gen. 1; 27, 28).”.
Marriage is a union of two Christians of the opposite sex, with a view to building a God-centred home.
The union must be of “one man, one woman.”
Happy home is a place where there is unity, understanding, cooperation and love.
It is where ego-pushing is not the order of the day,
where couples ask themselves: what can we do to improve our situation?
where children want to bring glory (and not shame) to their parents.
A Christian home is where God is reverenced and acknowledged as Head of the house.
However, research has proved that money is the No 1 cause of problems in families.
Yet it has nothing to do with how much or how little a couple makes and everything to do with differences in goals and values toward money.
Another contending issue is faulty foundation. Any marriage that is not established on a solid foundation will not last.
We will consider the following in this discussion:
• God’s original plan in Christian marriage
• Family Financial Management (The role of money in our marriage)
• Impediments to your family financial break through
• Way forward
• Conclusion
2.0 GOD’S PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE
2.1 Primary Purpose of Marriage
The primary reason marriage is significant to God is because it is part of His ordained plan to provide the world with a picture of His love for men and women.
Marriage becomes the means for married couples to demonstrate their love for God.
Wilson states: “The wedding ceremony is not an end in itself. In fact, marriage is not an end in itself. Marriage is a means of serving and glorifying God”.
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them (Gen. 1:26-27). God’s first purpose of creating man and woman and joining them in marriage was to mirror His image on earth. The word MIRROR means to reflect God, to magnify, exalt, and glorify Him.
Your marriage should reflect God’s image to a world that desperately needs to know who God is.
God established marriage as a covenant, not a contract (Mal. 2:14; Proverbs 2:16-17).
It is important to understand the difference between these two.
Three important differences exist:
• A covenant is based on trust between parties; a contract is based on distrust.
• A covenant is based on unlimited responsibility; a contract is based on limited liability.
• A covenant cannot be broken if new circumstances occur. A contract can be voided on mutual consent.
Therefore, a marriage covenant between a man and a woman is a comprehensive and permanent commitment.
This type of marriage covenant was ordained by God to provide believers with a picture of Christ’s love and relationship to His church (Ephesians 5:22-33, Rev. 21:2,9).
2.2 Secondary Purpose of Marriage
Once the couple embraces God’s primary purpose of marriage, they will encounter numerous secondary purposes or blessings of a Christ-honouring relationship.
Secondary purposes for marriage include:
Companionship: Scripture clearly outlines a second purpose for marriage: to mutually complete each other. That’s why God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18). The affection, love and trust companionship which grow out of oneness of spirit as each partner models Christ’s unconditional love (Amos 3:3).
The two of you are like computer and software. Standing alone, the computer and software are unimpressive, but combine as a team, they can accomplish so much more. And that’s exactly what God had in mind when He performed the first marriage with original groom and bride named Adam and Eve.
If you build your marriage according to Gods blueprints, as the years go by, you will really appreciate the genius of how God has custom-made your mate for you.
Procreation or Fruitfulness: Multiply a godly legacy. The blessing of children in a marriage relationship allows that relationship to reproduce itself physically. It is an example of “oneness” that results in a marriage (Gen. 1:28; 1 Pet.3:7). A line of godly descendants-your children- will carry a reflection of God’s character to the next generation.
God’s original plan called for the home to be a sort of greenhouse-a nurturing place where children grow up to learn character, values and integrity. One of your assignments is to impact a sense of destiny, a spiritual mission, to your children.
Protection: The husband protects his wife by laying down his life for his wife (Eph. 5:25). The wife is to protect the home (Titus 2:4-5) and the parents together protect their children to raise up a godly seed (Mal. 2:15; Ps.112:1-2).
When secondary purposes for marriage are placed above the primary purpose, discontentment, fearfulness, and disillusionment often result.
For example:
• The couple who has made the secondary purpose of marriage fruitfulness will be devastated and unfulfilled if they are unable to bear children.
• The couple who have made companionship or sexual enjoyment their primary purpose will desire fulfilment through other relationships or outlets if her husband/wife does not fully meet her/his sexual need.
• The couple who desires security and protection may feel fearful or insecure when finances are constrained and resources are limited.
3.0 FAMILY FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT
In his day, John D. Rockefeller was one of the richest men in the world. Once, an interviewer asked him, “How much money is enough?” Rockefeller replied, “Just a little more.”
You can never have enough money at any time.
Financial issue in the family is a spiritual matter.
Did you know that Jesus spoke more about money than He did about any other topic? In fact, 15% of all the recorded words of Jesus are on the subject of money- more than His teachings on heaven and hell combined. Why did money matter so much to Jesus?
To Jesus, our attitude towards money is of utmost importance, because it is a reflection of our attitude towards God.
3.1 Money Problems in The Marriage
• Faulty communication
• What’s mine is mine, what’s yours is ours (individualistic and competitive life)
• Debts
• Personality: some people are spenders while others are savers.
• Power plays:
a. One partner has a paid job and the other doesn’t
b. Both partners would like to be working but one is unemployed
c. One spouse earn considerably more than the other
d. One partner comes from a wealthy family and the other doesn’t.
• Joint account:
• Children: how many and their budget
• Comparing your family with others
• Extended family
• Illness of a partner
• Long separation
3.2 Suggested Ways to Improve Financial Understanding in Marriage
Are you and your spouse on different pages when it comes to money management?
Here are some tips to prevent money from being a thorn in your marriage:
Effective Communication: The best way to handle (money) stressors is with communication and honesty in conveying expectations, hopes, goals and anxieties. Couples should also practice empathy, have the maturity to check their egos and abandon any predilection for control.
Talk it out- get on the same page in a marriage, you’re on the same team. This means you need to reach an agreement about how your household will spend and save money. Compromises and open discussions need to happen on regular bases.
• Establish family altar (the family that pray together, stay together)
• Have family budget
• Give to God first
• Deal with debt.
• Maintaining joint account: keep in mind that while joint account offers greater transparency and access, it is not in itself a solution to an unbalanced power/money dynamic in a marriage.
• Create multiple streams of income
• Save and invest
• Keep records of your spending
• Seek expert advice/counsel
• Think creatively (learn from the ant)
• Create assets not liabilities
• Be net value creator
• Don’t feel threaten when your spouse progresses. men who feel threatened if their wives are progressing are short-sighted and lack understanding of what marriage is all about. Partners should solicit the support of each other.
They should aim to be partners in progress and not engage in a do-or-die competition. There should be no competition but complement.
• Don’t compare your family with others.
There is no perfect relationship. Every family have their own peculiar problems. All we need do is to adapt ourselves to situations we find ourselves.
• Don’t die in your comfort zone. Life is full of struggles. Get up and work towards achieving your dream family.
4.0 THAT YOUR PRAYERS MAY NOT BE HINDERED. 1 PETER 3: 7
When you treat your marriage partner with honour and respect, your prayer is answered quickly, when you abuse your marriage partner, your prayer is hindered.
How can you abuse your marriage partner?
Bishop Frances Wale Oke gives the following as some of the ways you can abuse your spouse:
• When you don’t treat your partner with honour and respect.
• When you are unfaithful to your marriage partner.
• Lack of transparency
• When you are insensitive to the need of your marriage partner.
• When you are verbally/physically abusive or nag your marriage partner.
• When you deny your marriage partner of sex or use sex as a bargaining or punishing tool.
• When you do not provide for or truly serve your marriage partner.
• When you refuse to take care of the children who are the products of your marriage.
• When you don’t avail yourself for family alter: a family that pray together, stay together.
My Commitment Today
• I truly repent of all I have done wrong to my marriage partner.
• I decide today to treat my marriage partner with honour and respect according to the will of God.
• I receive God’s mercy and answer to all my prayers. AMEN.
5.0 CONCLUSION
Maintaining a godly perspective of the purpose of marriage provides the foundation of a successful marriage relationship. Marriage becomes a spiritual endeavour rather than being dependent on financial status, bearing children or securing a specific employment.
Having the family of your dream is a matter of choice. What you make out of it depends on your attitude. The game of life is a matter of decision. Some play the game of struggle, poverty and sickness. While on the other hand some play the game of happiness, health, abundance and power. What is your choice? Decide for the latter and find yourself a blissful family with peace of mind.
Let me end with this poem titled ‘Each For The Other And Both For God.’ BY R.K. Campbell
“As unto the bow the cord is,
So unto the man is woman.
Though she bends him, she obeys him;
Though she draws him, yet she follows-
Useless each without the other.”
Thank you for your attention and God bless
0 Comments